Jealous Jenny!

Can I be honest? Can I let you in and expose a little bit of Jenn to you my sisters?

(I think there was some truth serum in my coffee this morning…here goes...)

I read a little 6-word quote that I’ve had a hard time forgetting…

“COMPARISON IS THE THIEF OF JOY!”

There are many things that can steal my joy, or rather, that I ALLOW to steal my joy.

If I spy with my little eye, something or someone that I perceive to have it better than what I have, an ugly green monster lurking inside me rears his head! Somehow seeing another’s “stuff” or successes can make me feel inferior and I retreat to my pity party where only 3 people are invited…me, myself and I! Then I start to compare, complain, and grumble and generally make myself (and my family) miserable….

This saying comparison is the thief of joy has reverberated in my head over and over in the last few weeks…

As I read my bible today I was reminded of the story of Cain and Abel.

Cain was so jealous of his brother that it drove him to murder! Even though God forewarned him… He said, “Cain, sin is crouching at your door, and it desires to have you…but you must master it!” That “sin” was jealousy.

The favour Abel had with God wasn’t something that Cain was able to celebrate for his brother. Instead of rejoicing with him, he allowed his jealousy to fester until it took its final revenge. Death!

“Sin starts as a thought…and when it is fully grown it leads to DEATH!” Imagine the sin of jealousy and envy bringing death to my life?! Death of a relationship or maybe a dream…how terribly tragic would that be? But that’s what its capable of. It’s so dangerous and it is probably one of the greatest attacks on women I have seen in my years of ministry. As a matter of fact, “THOU SHALT NOT COVET” is one the Ten Commandments! God KNOWS its danger!!!!!!!!!

How many times have I seen people who always seem to “catch a break?” People that never seem to have any problems?  How often do I look at the flawless girl with the cover girl face and think, “if I only looked like her?” How many times have I listened to a person preach and found myself jealous of their gift and their “perfect life?” I just wonder…

How many times have I envied others for a million reasons? There are so many ways I can compare myself to another. But those comparisons are detrimental!! Those moments when I look at others and take my eyes off Jesus and what He says about me, rob me of my joy, which is the very core of my strength!! The weak moments when I feel inferior and lesser than are the moments when sin creeps in…

Don’t get me wrong…I don’t ALWAYS act this way…I am not as awful a person as this blog is making me sound J

But, Satan is no fool! He knows EXACTLY what makes me tick! HE knows what buttons to push and he is like a roaming lion seeking to DEVOUR ME! If he can make me feel bad enough about myself by flaunting another’s successes, he’ll do it!! He knows that my insecurities sometimes cause me to hesitate to walk in MY gifts. The SPECIFIC gifts that THE CREATOR OF THE UNIVERSE GAVE TO ME!

All our gifts our unique but each gift is NEEDED! We are the body of Christ. We are all working together toward a common goal, TO MAKE JESUS FAMOUS!!!! Sometimes I forget that…

How God chooses to use each of us is His business. My only responsibility is to be faithful with what He has put in MY hands.

This is what I am learning. I haven’t perfected it by any means, I haven’t mastered every moment of envy…but I am striving to be content with what God has entrusted to me. May my eyes be so transfixed on the beautiful green grass in my life that the beauty of the rainforest next-door can’t even catch my eye.

Written by: Jenn Fitch